Farmer Childs

Norfolk Scenary
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Farmer Childs Farm

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2nd December 1952

Well, what about that thar cold weekend we just had.  Blast! was I in a muddle, Igit up at four, as yew dew, to dew thar milkin. Lookīd owtside an all them thar cows wer frozin in thar field. They lookīd jus like carbord.

Well I wus in a rite buggers muddle, no milkin to be dun `cause I mite av brok the andles orf.

As I stood thar a scratchin me skull, this olīlady walks down thar lane.

"Are yew alrite bor" she arsk me.

"No I inīt" I say to er.

So I told er wot ad gone wrong.

"Donīt yew worry olībor, let me ev a look at em" she say.

She went up to the first, an rubbed is skull an put er ands on is lugs an blew on is ol snout, that thar cow let owt a greet olīmoo an started to chew thar cud.

Well, to cut a long story short she repeetīd this rite frew the eard an by this time Iīd started to milk the first`uns an wen I looked round I seeīer just goin orf down thar lane an me not avin said thank yer, I hollered but she kept in a goin.

I turned to see young Freddy at the farm geart.

I say taīim "Do yew know that little olīlady"

He say " I do farmer Childs"

 

"THAS THORA HEARD !!! "

 

Blast eeīs sharp for time oī the mornin, pity eeīs not so forward wen the works about.

Bert, oose okapeershun is the willage barber, is doin big buiness these few days leedin up to the big day wen we managed to git is barnet cut (first time in twelve yeer) Bert reckonīs it took forty minutes to cut that lot and ee found is old school cap intīere.

Donīt menshun thar willage football teem thar just like a cheep bra, very little support an no decent cups. Our goalie donīt stand a chance while is muther keeps old of is and. Amos at 96 as anded is kit in. The fewnral is on Tewsday.

Well thars still alot tībe dun afore we unrap the socks and the bubble bath, an muther says tonites the nite, an I thought bingo was on a Munday.

Jus remember if yew canīt say it - donīt yew drink it - cus itīll giv yew one ell oī a skull ache in thar mornin.

All the best, ave a goodun - donīt go too hevy on them thar speerits.

Keep a good lite

Best wishes

Farmer Childs

 

 

 

 

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