Farmer Childs

Norfolk Scenary
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Farmer Childs Farm

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7/7/1954

Well allo agin ole fings, ere we go agin tha suggar beet as awl gone agin an I've founed meself a few minits ta rite ta ya awl.

CrowsAss a rainin like billyo ovver Will's muvvers an them ole crows are a builden them thar nests rite high in them trees, ass a gude sign of a long

ot summa agin – wen it gits ere. 

Swallas are all back agin nice ta see im a screamin abowt tha plearce awl upsettin Roger Roger as ee chases tha baby ducks round tha farm.

Now, corse people wud tork,  ya better keep this ere gossup ta yaself

Ivy at tha Pust Orffice a got ‘erself a Gentalmin frend, and wen ee cawls round yung Freddy always git put in tha cupbord wiv tha vasiline on tha door andle, jist ta slow im up a bit!! Well,  on this partickler day it jist appen'd that Cockburn got back ome early, 

"Quick" Ivy say ta er gentalmin friend "In tha cupbord"

All wus quiet, wen yung Freddy pipes up "Ass dark in ere intit!"

Tha man ee say " Yis it is"

Freddy finks this is a gud chance ta try ‘is luck so ee say "Do ya want ta buy a fishin rod?"

"No thanks" said the man

"I'll tell Cockburn ya in ere" say Freddy

"O.K. I'll buy yer fishin rod - how much?"

"10 shillin ok?"say a very smug Freddy.

Next time tha fancyman called yung Freddy's back in tha cupbord agin…… fings wus a goin well wen thars a bang on thar door an it's tha nixt door naybor

"Quick!" say Ivy "In tha cupbord"

"Allo agin" say Freddy "Dark in ere intit!"

"Yis" say tha man"

"Do yew want ta buy a fishin baskit"

"No! No!" say tha man

"Rite I'll call out ta tha naybor an ee wil know you're in ere"

"O.K." say tha man "How much?"

"12 shillin ok?"say crafty yung Freddy.

Cum tha weekend Cockburn say ta yung Freddy "Well bor tha wevvers rite nice less go fishin"

"I can't Cockburn, I sold me fishin gear an got 22 shillin fa it!"

" WHAT!….git yew t' chuch this minit an confess yer sins yung Freddy !"

So it wus up ta tha chuch fa yung Freddy ee wait is turn an in ee goes ta tha confeshun box "Ass dark in ere intit!" a voice answered Freddy back an said "Don't ya start that agin my bor"

Blast yung Freddy wus outta tha chuchrun fastta than avicar rabbit up a row o'tatters.

 

Janet at tha school reckon yung Freddy wus always gud wiv muney she say ta im in maths class

"If yew got 2 bob in one pocket, an 5 bob in the uther pocket wot ave ya got?" …. he rinkl'd his fearce up an ‘e say "Sum wun elses coot on miss!!"

P.C.Gallip-off called in yesterday ee wus on tha cadge agin arter sum buckshee eggs an Muvver she jist ave ta be socishable an git im ta stay fa a bite ta eat. Well ee sits thar at tha tearble awll blown out wiv Muvvers beef puddin knockin back me ome brew and yawll nivver belive wot ee cum owt wiv "Well Farmer" ee says "I'm still enjoyin sex at 64" Well as a rummin I finks ta meself always fought tha police ouse was No.60,  still no great distance really! but who lives at 64?

Ee reckon the wicur put a note under is door an ee want im to join tha choire (as rumoured Gallip-Off as got sum encredible equipment) - meself I fink ee's a tit short of a udda - ony person I know that can brightun up a room by leavin it!!

Well! ere we are back in this ole bedroom agin, Muvver recon she lorst a bit a wayt - not frum were im standin - she looks like the arse of ole Rielly's bull!!

"Shud I turn the lite orf - or wot!"

"Yis farmer turn the lite orf - I can't bear ta look, as like tryin ta play snooka wiv a rope!!" Well on that slack note I'll say Bye Bye Tergevver.

Bye Bye me Bewties

Dew Yew Keep A Gud Lite

Farmer Childs

 

 

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