12th January 1953
The willage sends it's best wishes to all yew ol' townies and let ya know that life is still much tha same downe ere wiv lots a mud an suggar beet larries evrywhere - and Lofty the suggar beet larry driver say it don't seem all that long ago since the youngin's were in the prams a pickin the linin out of them thar woolly hat's an a blowin bubbles out of thair nose's
The vicar's bin to see us, he's puttin on a bit of a bash at the willage `all this week-end. Drummin up a bit ov trade for the chuch we reckon. Smiffy say ee won't be a go-in ta chuch, on account a the last time ee went they wet is ead! an ee ave ta leave is pockit money in thar tray at thar chuch door!. "Blast" ee say "that wus suffen cold - we ave ta giv grundad Erbert an extra strong mint to suck on, an we all sat round him ta keep warm" so Smiffy's givin it a big miss.
Well! come tha weekend thar willage all wuz packed ta thar rafter's - It wuz jus like a bingo nite, all the silver twink club with them silly ol' hats they all wear, (yew know tha ones that make 'em look like their brains is on the outside) wuz there all sat in row's. I'd rarther lick fog than take one of them ugly bugga's home, ONEST!!
Arter all thar jolities the Vicar ad a few words - ee say that this weeks service will start with little drops of water, an one lady will start quietly then the other's will join in. Ee just reminded the willages it wuz Amos who streeked at that thar chuch flower show and yes ee did win first prize for is dried arrangmint - But' alas, as we all now know the poor ol' bor handed `is kit in last week an' now `is arrangmint `as been do-natid to thar chuch an is angin on display in thar belfrey.
Roger Roger is a up tew is ol' tricks agin, ee aways seem ta pick 'is time when thar Vicar cums ta visit. Ee wuz a layed out thar in front o' thar Argar an all of a suddin `is neck begin a' swell up, ee drew a couple a long shuddering breaths an one foot come orf thar ground, ee riggild about an suddenly it came out - an all I can say is it sounded jus like tearin' lino. Well!! - I wish I could tear lino and smile at the same time. The vicar waved is 'ol `at about an patted Roger Roger on the be-ind, ee went out o' thar farm house a' whistlin ",All things brite and boutifull."
Well best I be a gittin on - But, just yew townies remember "Don't sit under a cow or you'll git a pat on your ead !!"
Bye Bye me Beauties,
DEW YEW KEEP A GOOD LIGHT!!!